Week 27 - Exploring Resistance

SUFFERING CAN BE OPTIONAL

Pain, whether physical or psychological, is an unavoidable

part of the human condition. We can't stop it arising. That

is the first dart or arrow. Suffering, on the other hand—the

second dart or arrow—is the result of our resistance to

experiencing pain.

Our resistance can take the form of thoughts about the pain: "If this doesn't get better I'm not going to be able to go back to work ... my sick leave is running out ... my health insurance won't pay for more treatment ... how will I meet the mortgage next month ... I'll lose my home as well as my job," and so on. Such thoughts explode into a plethora of "what ifs" that create associated emotions such as fear, anger, and frustration as well as the physical sensations (clenched fists or jaw, cramps in the stomach, and so on) that are associated with those emotions. These are very unpleasant, and may lead to us experiencing thoughts about the unpleasant feelings themselves:"! shouldn't be feeling like this; I should be able to handle this; I'm such a loser that I'm feeling this way." And so the cycle continues.

Resistance may also take the form of tension around the discomfort—bracing oneself physically against our internal experience.

Acknowledging that we have the power to do something different can be liberating, since we often feel more stressed when things feel out of our control, but it can also be frightening. It can be easier to stay with what is familiar to us, however unpleasant. It can be easier to absolve ourselves of all responsibility about our experience and just give into it "because it's not my fault and there is nothing I can do." Unfortunately, this path is one of unnecessary suffering.

WHAT CAN WE DO?

• We can learn to notice the particular song of repetitive emotions that is playing in our mind. What is number one on today's hit parade? Acknowledging the story is essential.

• We can bring humour to our experience, to give us perspective, allowing us to become less caught up in it.

• We can use the skills learned through practising Mindfulness of Breath and Body (see page 70) and bring our attention to our breath as well as any physical sensations arising out of the experience. When we bring our attention to a physical focus we let go of our thoughts (and we will have to do this repeatedly).

• We can use the experience as an opportunity to practice Being with the Difficult (see page 128).

Whatever we decide to do, it is important that we let go of any desire to make our experience better—to seek a particular outcome. We can't do anything about the physical pain, the grief, the loss, or whatever form the first dart takes; instead we are learning to be with it rather than resist it and so create additional suffering.

Week 27 Activity

EXPLORING RESISTANCE

When we practice mindfulness we are interested in

exploring ALL states of mind. Suffering arises because we

want something to be different, and we don't like what we

are experiencing in the present moment (this might be an

internal or external experience).

Because that sense of "not liking," "not wanting," "resisting," and "pushing away" are all powerful emotions, they are often associated with strong physical sensations. The body braces itself against the resistance, tightening and tensing up. This felt sensation can give us an important early clue that we don't like something. Once we've been alerted that resistance is present, we can then widen our beam of awareness to include our thoughts and emotions.

This week, pay attention to moments when you are resisting your experience. It may be when you are on a crowded commuter train, sitting down to practice, eating something you dislike, or tackling a particular job you've been avoiding —we are rarely short of opportunities to face resistance!

Tune into the body. What do you notice?

Tune into your thinking. What do you notice?

Tune into your emotions. What do you notice?

It's important to approach this activity with an attitude of curiosity, and without judging what you notice. The resistance is present, so resisting the resistance is counterproductive. Instead, we want to move in closer to it, approaching it with an attitude of friendly interest and without any hidden agenda of wanting it go away.

Move in closer to the sense of avoidance. Where are you feeling it? Is it moving around or staying

still? How would you describe the sensations? If you try not to experience it—if you suppress it or push it away—what happens?

You may want to pay particular attention to the out-breath, and perhaps repeat silently to yourself, "It's okay—let me feel it." By doing this you are not saying that -whatever is happening is okay—sometimes it is not—but you are honouring your response to it, and how you are feeling. These sensations and emotions are present, even if we don't like them and wish they were not.

Make a note of your experience of resistance, avoidance, not liking, not wanting, pushing away ... How many different types can you identify? Notice whether different types of resistance create a different felt experience?