Week 44 - Being With Thoughts

BEING WITH THOUGHTS 

Thoughts are the cause of much of our unhappiness, 

because we believe them and take them at face value. 

However, once we begin to see them simply as mental 

events that are influenced by our mood, we can begin to get 

a better perspective. One way to do this is by writing down 

the different types of thought pattern we notice as we pay 

attention to our experience (see page 138). 

Typical unhelpful thought patterns include:  

OVER-GENERALISING 

MIND-READING 

ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING 

FUTURE THINKING OR CRYSTAL-BALL GAZING 

FOCUSING ON THE NEGATIVE 

BLAMING SELF 

BLAMING OTHERS 

JUDGEMENTAL—TOWARD SELF 

JUDGEMENTAL—TOWARD OTHERS 

This list isn't exhaustive, of course—can you identify any others? Just make a note of the type of thought you are experiencing, rather than focusing too much on the content. Do you notice links between moods and particular types of thought? You don't need to do anything with what you notice; just write it down.

Words and phrases to look out for include "What if ...," "I should ...," "I must ...,""I ought ...,""I always ....""This always happens to me ...," as these can act as cues that we are moving into unhelpful areas of thinking. Can you identify particular words and phrases that you commonly use with different types of thinking? As we begin to become aware of them, we can use these words and phrases as red flags to warn us that we are moving into unsafe waters. When we notice, we can take a Breathing Space (see page 88).

TRANSFERABLE SKILLS 

We can practice watching our thoughts in formal meditation practice (see pages 16, 26, 40, 70, 102, 128, and 156), and the skills we learn there are particularly helpful when we want to notice thoughts arising in our everyday life. 

Remember that it's important not to beat yourself up over whatever you notice. The idea here is simply to notice what tracks your thoughts regularly run: when you bring them into awareness, that witnessing is the first stage of stepping back from them. The intention is to watch them rather than become caught up in them. When we observe our thoughts, we notice how they are influenced by our moods, and because of that they cannot be taken as fact. We begin to see that it is possible to liberate ourselves from the tyranny of our thoughts.