Week 43 - Practising Kindness to Oneself

Week 43 Activity

PRACTISING KINDNESS TO ONESELF

Most of us give ourselves a hard time. We judge the way we look,

the way we behave, and what we achieve, and all too

often we fall short in our own mind. We practice a

meanness to ourselves that goes far beyond the way we

would treat a friend. The following activity is similar to

that developed by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer for

their Mindful Self-compassion program.

We all have facets that we don't like about ourselves, or can recall times when we wish we'd done something differently. Bring to mind something about yourself that you're not happy about; it might be a personal trait, something about your appearance, or perhaps a time you could have behaved better, Notice the words and phrases that form your thoughts when you bring it to mind, and write them down here. When you hear these words addressed to yourself, how do they make you feel?

Then imagine your best friend had come to you with this same problem. You want to support them through a difficult time. What would you say to them? What words and phrases would you use? Imagine you were writing a letter to them now. When you have finished, set it aside for a few days before coming back to it and reading it as if it were addressed to you. How does it makes you feel? How is this different from the way you talked to yourself at the start of the practice? Which is more helpful?